Back to the history of ”the lifestyle”.

In the fifties the newspapers referred to it as “wife-swapping.” Today it’s called “swinging,” but not considering of its name this non-monogamous subculture seems to be growing in recognition among ordinary, middle-aged married couples in America. The popular media are paying increasing attention to the trend, frequently putting a encouraging spin on the effects which the lifestyle has upon marriages. The North American Swing Club Association (NASCA) claims there are structured swing clubs in about all states as well as France, England, Germany, and Japan. These clubs are productive businesses which provide all levels of social activities for swingers including vacation plans, special retreat sites for swingers, and annual conferences and seminars. Lifestyles, Inc., a swingers travel agency, booked 700 couples at a resort in Jamaica in February of 1998.
What precisely is swinging? Unlike “open marriages” of the 1970’s which promoted non-possessive love and broadmindedness of betrayal in their spouses, or “polyamory” - the love of numerous people at once – swinging is non-monogamous sexual action, treated a lot like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple. Emotional monogamy, or dedication to the love relationship with one’s marital partner, remains the ultimate focus. Wife swapping is frequently done in the company of one’s spouse and requires the consent of both to the practice. Though swingers often become close friends with other swinging couples, there are rules restricting emotional involvement with non-spousal partners. While swinging involves having sex with people other than one’s spouse, its followers claim that it enhances the relationship of the swinging couple both sexually and emotionally. By removing the secrecy and untruthfulness inherent in one’s natural wishes for sexual diversity, the couple can discover their fantasies mutually without cheating or shame. By removing the necessity for deceit from the sexual life, a brand new stage of confidence and honesty about all of one’s feelings is supposedly achieved without the harsh baggage of suspicion.
Swinging as an alternative lifestyle is of both practical and scholarly interest because the attempt to combine sexual non-monogamy with emotional monogamy is deeply “deviant” from the western model of romantic love which assumes that sexual and emotional monogamy are mutually reinforcing and inseparable. It has yet to be demonstrated empirically whether this alternative lifestyle really strengthens or weakens marital relationships, but in an era where 36% of husbands and 31% of wives, sometimes so-called milfs declare to having had at least one extra-marital affair, where divorce rates for first marriages are approaching 62%, and where family instability and parental neglect of children has become a main national concern, any effort to redefine “love” and fortify the marital bond is worthy of our interest. If swingers have found a way to stabilize relationships, extend family ties, and enrich the lives of couples we would be remiss if we did not take their lifestyle and their redefinition of monogamous love seriously.
It is concluded that swingers surveyed are the white, middle-class, middle-aged, church-going segment of the population reported in earlier studies, but when it comes to attitudes about sex and marriage they are less racist, less sexist, and less heterosexist than the general public. Swinging appears to make the vast majority of swingers’ marriages happier, and swingers rate the happiness of their marriages and life satisfaction generally as higher than the non-swinging population.

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